Let's Call it Quits

This was a note I received several months ago.
It was in a letter, sent to my work with a little
over $50. in cash. Because our mailroom opened
the letter they gave it to my supervisor because
it may have been from a customer I had contacted
on behalf of our company. There was no return address.

To my complete surprise it was from my best friend
of over 34 years. 'Let's call it quits', 'I'll send your things
you left at my house to your home.' How devastating
do you think that can be?

When you have lived parts of 4 decades confiding in
a friend and sharing all the ups & downs through
marriages,children,jobs,accomplishments,failures,etc.
how does this happen? I say it's gotta be major.
When it's major -you know it! Having an affair
with a friend's husband, buring their house down -
stuff like that. I couldn't remember any of those
things happening.

What I do remember is being her labor coach.
What I do remember is rescuing her from domestic
violence when her 2nd husband tried to kill her.
What I do remember is getting her to admit she
was being totally self destructive with alcohol in
her first marriage.

What I do remember is finding great obscure
music from her record collection: Loudon Wainwright III,
Tom Waits, Warren Zevon, Bonnie Raitt and on & on.
Those were artists in the mid '70's when they weren't
famous. I learned about art and 'flipping houses' before
anyone knows what a 'flip' is. I shared travel adventures
with her. She taught me about antiques and I soaked it
all in. While she was single I was raising my son. What
I thought as allowing my son to realize his own dreams
she thought a a little too unconventional -until she had
a child of her own. I taught her to start to let go a little
each day-so when your child is ready to leave-you can
at least be able to release them to the world knowing
you did your job.

We live 2900 miles apart now but I visited every summer
for the last 7 years. 3 years ago I was there twice because
I thought my son's band would be on tour there -both tours
cancelled part way through their run.

After calling my friend's husband at his work to see if he
could give an answer to how she was feeling -if my visit
seemed to cause a problem -he said he thought we had a
good time. He saw her pack my items I leave from year
to year and asked if she was sending a note. He never
knew she already sent the note.

She finally called and said she had been giving me hints
for several years. I asked 'What hints?' She then said
she was sure she was not communicating well enough.
Friends can always say -'Hey-I'm having a rough year
I may not want visitors from home this year.' That's
totally understandable. I can take it-it won't send me
in some downward spiral. She said I am just 'Too intense!'
Huh? Intense? I am your friend. I am passionate about
life and am always growing and learning. I am happy for
every day God gives me to live.

My concept of friendship is to make those treasured
friendships last a lifetime. I consider friendship a joy
in my life. At least I have passed that trait to my son.
He still has friends from grade school & high school.

My son also said it best about the end of such a long
term friendship. He said, 'Did you say to her Thanks
for breaking my heart?' I didn't, but she did.