This holiday season involves some of
my favorite things -movies, music, books
and art!
Prior to Christmas I viewed the touring art
exhibition, Turner to Cezanne hosted by our
Everson Museum and the only northeast US
city where it could be viewed. Before it leaves
I will spend several hours on New Year's Day
amongst these priceless paintings.
On Christmas weekend I used my 'gift' movie
passes I received from a business client and
friend. Closed out of 'It's Complicated' I chose
to see 'Sherlock Holmes' then saw 'It's Complicated'
the next day. Both movies nurished various
parts of my soul and heart. Plus I got to laugh!
Then I just finished Lisa Scottoline's newest book, 'Why
My 3rd Husband Will Be A Dog' which I highly recommend
for women over 50. I next used my Barnes & Noble gift
card from Christmas to purchase another book by Lisa plus
music, '1969' by Los Lonely Boys & John Fogerty-The Blue
Ridge Rangers Rides Again. Now it's time for some old covers
to touch my heart and remind me of my journey to this
time in my life.
I find 'Garden Party' by Rick Nelson on Fogerty's cd
particularly reassuring after all these years. 'I learned
my lesson well-you can't please everyone so you've got
to please yourself.' Remember that if many of your efforts
toward others go totally unappreciated.
Many years ago when my son was very young and
I was still struggling with his bipolar-self medicating
father there was a thoughtful Christmas present in
my mailbox.
Back when there was no internet shopping or print
your own shipping labels this was a true delight.
A friend many miles away knew of my struggles
and found the time way before Christmas week
to seek out a silver bracelet from a handcrafted
silver shop. Not a China factory mass produced
item but something genuine and unique.
Even back then I did not seek out gifts for myself
under the Christmas tree. A few nice items for my
son and family were my sense of the season.
Now I realize that the small gift of silver from some
one who cared is worth all the gold and diamonds this
world can hold. The sender could not see my face as
I unwrapped the delicate wrapping that made it to
me through the US Mail without breakage.
I imagined the time it took to make the purchase and
get to the post office with the countless other seasonal
mailings that needed to be done. This was a gift given
in friendship & caring to ease pain in my life.
I so prefer a gift given in the joy of the season than from
a request list. I do not have a 'list' that others can check
for my 'wants' and 'likes'. I receive very few gifts nowadays.
I cherish the dollar store trinkets that may come from
my grandson. Also the pictures my son & daughter-in-law
may frame for my desk or walls are such a joy to receive.
The gifts I gave to the refugees in my city who came to this
harsh winter city from Burma were warming to my heart this
year. Gloves,mittens,scarves,coats & sweaters for children
wearing a warm up suit in less than 20 degree weather was
the meaning of giving for me this season.
I truly believe I am blessed and need to spend more of my life
seeking a need and giving just like someone did for me over
30 years ago.
May you find true joy & meaning in your Christmas season.
I recently attended a benefit in memory
of Duane Loomis of Mattydale,NY. As in
most unexpected deaths by heart attack
the family was left with funeral expenses.
Originally from West Haven, Ct it appears
Duane put roots down in Central New York
over 20 years ago. Living with Duane II in
his final days is why the benefit was held
at Mac's and the community rallied.
Not knowing Duane and attending as an
outsider gave me a clear perspective on
how the bike clubs support each other
and their adopted 'family' in the club.
This is not some tv show but a true call
to action. Unable to cover the funeral
costs the bike club approached the
owner of Mac's to put on the benefit.
I attend many events like this where
my son and his bandmates come forward
to give their time and entertain during
the benefit. During the holiday season it
may appear to be bad timing -again an
unexpected loss of a loved one does not
know the time of year.
This event also brought the nation's health
care crisis to mind. If Duane like so many
other uninsured or underinsured had seen
a heart specialist he may have been able to
prevent his untimely death. I'm sure his
children, grandchildren and other family
members in Central New York and Conn.
will remember the kindness and generosity
of this man and the life lessons he leaves
behind. I also hope the day was a success.
I was asked today about the type of part time
work I would do after I retire. My 5yr plan is
all about NOT WORKING A JOB!!!
I have a feeling that active men & women can
only identify with a 'job title'. I choose to run
away from that theory as fast as possible.
I feel I will have 'work' to do because that is
what God expects of us. Sometimes my 'job'
will be to volunteer. Sometimes my 'job' will
be to chauffer my grandchild around or be
his caregiver while his parents work. Sometimes
my 'job' will be to travel and enjoy our world.
In 'retirement' I do not want to pull the 'age
discrimination' card to get hired 'part time'.
I have nothing to prove. I have no 'larger'
home to acquire. I want to be free of material
trappings and just live!
I have achieved my goal of completing my holiday
shopping online by cyber Monday. I am not in the
habit of fighting the crowds or standing in line at
2am to be the first through the doors at Best Buy,
Walmart or Target.
I really like to take time to look around myself to
see if there are small needs I can fulfill.
The joy of walking in my neighborhood hand in hand
with my grandson and stopping at each holiday
display to just take it all in is pure joy. He can talk
about each candy cane or santa with such passion.
He is never bored as we stop to see the 10th santa
or snowman. They are all special.
My wish for you this season is to see the holidays
through the eyes of a child. The child who has no
list to buy for, the child who only stares at twinkling
lights in awe, the child who lifts his face to the sky
to catch snowflakes in his mouth- yes that child in
us we may have lost in our adult lives.
Recently Tom Petty was interviewed by CBS and
asked about his next birthday when he turns 60.
I just enjoyed his above quote so much I needed
to add it to my blog.
I have a similar feeling about aging. In less than
a year and a half I will reach that 60 mark. I say
'Bring it on!' I'll be that much closer to completing
my 5 year plan toward retirement.
In my plan I am attempting to be debt free as I've
done on one or two other occasions until the men
in my life chose for that accomplishment to become
only a faded memory. I then had to rely on credit
to remove us from financial calamity and keep us
afloat. Neither man thought he should be accountable
for our family responsibilities since I was making a
decent income (lower middle class to most!)
Retirement from the corporate mad rush is something
I cherish as time to write, reflect,volunteer and enrich
the lives around me in my local community. I am in
restraints because of the hourly portions of my days
devoted to my employer. Yes, I am thankful for the
job I have in this time of depression and uncertainty
in our country. On the other hand, I feel stifled that
I have so little time to mentor young adults and be
creative in my community.
I am grateful for each day that passes and getting
older. I have so much to accomplish before I'm dead!
