You're A Friend Of Mine

This is the title of an old song by Clarence Clemmons
of the E Street Band and Jackson Browne from years
ago. I recently heard it during a company meeting
where it was used in a video made to honor our top
customer service workers from 2008. During the
video I said I was glad to know someone bought this
album besides me.

If you aren't familiar with the song-you can find it
on playlist.com to bring yourself up to speed.
I realize there are several lines that are true for
anyone who cherishes those long term friendships.
I see this in one particular friend. My son doesn't
count because we have been alike for so long that
I can no longer define where the parent/child
relationship ends and the friendship begins.

I hope these lyrics reflect the way you feel about
those favorite friendships -

'The one who always makes you laugh until you die'

'You can depend on me -over & over'

'You can call on me till the day you die'

'I'm gonna stand by your side through thick & thin'

'Years may come & go here's one thing I know-
all my life you're a friend of mine'

The intangible things about great friends are summed up
in this song. It is good for us to be that kind of friend
also.
There is nothing like receiving a double over in laughter
email from a friend. It makes a regular day smoother.
Just a hug for someone who is hurting or grieving means
so much. There seems to be so much detachment in our
world that we sometimes lose sight of close friendships and
just the tiniest gesture of caring goes a long way.

When we struggle with trying economic times let's not
forget to help each other and be a little kinder. Bring a
smile to someone's face. I know you can!

Have a Mentor-Be A Mentor

While listening to the audiobook, 'Where Have All The Leaders Gone?'
by Lee Iacocca I was inspired by his chapters about mentoring.
It is our duty during our lifetimes to mentor others. Likewise it
is up to us to find mentors to guide us in our quest to leave this
world just a bit better because we have helped another.

Find your teacher and personal advocate. It's important to have
someone in your ra ra corner cheering you on and dusting you off
if you fall.

Iacocca reminds his audience that leaders are created -not born.
What are we doing to create leaders? Sometimes I wonder.
Everyone has gifts to share to encourage greatness in our society he
explains. We need to continually look inward to find those gifts we
can give to others.

I have had several mentors throughout my working life. The main
mentor in my life taught me how to work with teen-agers more
effectively. This person has always been urging me to be my best.
I have taught my son to use his talents to give back -he does an
amazing job through music.

Iacocca reminds us there are 3 stages in our lives:
1. Learning
2. Earning
3. Returning

I would like to add that learning is lifelong and we can also try to
start the returning to others while we are in the earning years.
To me all three items are overlapping and never ending.

I salute those who have mentored me and those who still do.

Wedding Crasher -not quite

Several years ago my son and his band were on
tour across the USA. Somewhere midway through
this tour they were approaching their hotel in
Columbus,Ohio. Across the street from their
hotel there was quite the event going on. My
son now spots Steve Gadd crossing the street.
He let's his band know -look it's Steve Gadd.
Puzzled they look at each other and say, 'Who?'

Anyone in the percussion or drumming world
knows who Steve Gadd is. Guitarists and
vocalists -not so much.

Upon entering their hotel my son spots a young kid
with drum sticks on their elevator. The kid tells
my son the hotel across the street is holding the
Percussive Arts Convention and everyone who
is anyone is there. My son calls his wife and me.
We both give sound advice -take the elevator
back down and go across the street. Smooze your
way in. He has a few endorsements -he should be
able to get into some part of this event.

Next thing you know he is crashing the event.
Before he can start his smooze his Vic Firth Rep
spots him and gets him into the event -as a black
jazz drummer who is known worldwide. He is not
black. At least later on one of the convention workers
or Vic Firth people get to change his tag and make him
a Vic Firth Factory Rep.

Not only did the band get to play their show in Columbus
my son got to hang with his fellow drummers and meet
several people through his Vic Firth Rep. Sometimes
you can get away with crashing by knowing the right
people.

No More Writing? No More Teachers?

A recent local newspaper article emphasized that
cursive handwriting was soon to be eliminated
from elementary education. After learning to
print the alphabet it appears students now only
use the computer to complete all school assignments.
I am amazed to find out that ALL school districts
and underfunded inner city schools rely on computers
for every child.

In my current job I have noticed the total decline in
the ability for most people to spell everyday words.
I attribute that to 'texting'. Now we will dumb down
even further to not teaching cursive handwriting.

Long lost will be the days when your friend would
handwrite you a note from your parents so you
could skip school. Why will you need to even attend
school?

A Friend Grieves

Here is a blog link to someone who battled cancer for
5 years and lost that fight Jan 26th, 2009.
He was the friend of a co-worker who is now grieving.
His story may inspire those of us who remain here.

http://kermitsbattle.blog.com/

Let's Call it Quits

This was a note I received several months ago.
It was in a letter, sent to my work with a little
over $50. in cash. Because our mailroom opened
the letter they gave it to my supervisor because
it may have been from a customer I had contacted
on behalf of our company. There was no return address.

To my complete surprise it was from my best friend
of over 34 years. 'Let's call it quits', 'I'll send your things
you left at my house to your home.' How devastating
do you think that can be?

When you have lived parts of 4 decades confiding in
a friend and sharing all the ups & downs through
marriages,children,jobs,accomplishments,failures,etc.
how does this happen? I say it's gotta be major.
When it's major -you know it! Having an affair
with a friend's husband, buring their house down -
stuff like that. I couldn't remember any of those
things happening.

What I do remember is being her labor coach.
What I do remember is rescuing her from domestic
violence when her 2nd husband tried to kill her.
What I do remember is getting her to admit she
was being totally self destructive with alcohol in
her first marriage.

What I do remember is finding great obscure
music from her record collection: Loudon Wainwright III,
Tom Waits, Warren Zevon, Bonnie Raitt and on & on.
Those were artists in the mid '70's when they weren't
famous. I learned about art and 'flipping houses' before
anyone knows what a 'flip' is. I shared travel adventures
with her. She taught me about antiques and I soaked it
all in. While she was single I was raising my son. What
I thought as allowing my son to realize his own dreams
she thought a a little too unconventional -until she had
a child of her own. I taught her to start to let go a little
each day-so when your child is ready to leave-you can
at least be able to release them to the world knowing
you did your job.

We live 2900 miles apart now but I visited every summer
for the last 7 years. 3 years ago I was there twice because
I thought my son's band would be on tour there -both tours
cancelled part way through their run.

After calling my friend's husband at his work to see if he
could give an answer to how she was feeling -if my visit
seemed to cause a problem -he said he thought we had a
good time. He saw her pack my items I leave from year
to year and asked if she was sending a note. He never
knew she already sent the note.

She finally called and said she had been giving me hints
for several years. I asked 'What hints?' She then said
she was sure she was not communicating well enough.
Friends can always say -'Hey-I'm having a rough year
I may not want visitors from home this year.' That's
totally understandable. I can take it-it won't send me
in some downward spiral. She said I am just 'Too intense!'
Huh? Intense? I am your friend. I am passionate about
life and am always growing and learning. I am happy for
every day God gives me to live.

My concept of friendship is to make those treasured
friendships last a lifetime. I consider friendship a joy
in my life. At least I have passed that trait to my son.
He still has friends from grade school & high school.

My son also said it best about the end of such a long
term friendship. He said, 'Did you say to her Thanks
for breaking my heart?' I didn't, but she did.

Used to be 'I hope he calls' -now what is it?

When only land line phones existed this would be
every girl and single woman's concern about the
newest guy she wanted to hear from. You had to
be creative with your time while waiting for the
phone to ring. Reading books worked for me be-
cause I loved to read anyway. How many days or
weeks did you wait?

Now everyone-even 5 year olds have cell phones.
Years ago guys had so many things to do that it
was rare to get them to chat for over 5 minutes-
no less initiate a phone call. Now -all I see is the
cell phone in everyone's ear. In the last 2 years
I have never seen so many guys in conversation
on the phone. Does it have to be portable to get
them to call you?

Let's not even go to texting -the guys love that too.
Only problem with texting is the loss of spelling in
the correct manner.

So, ladies I guess you don't have to mope if he doesn't
call because you are on the go and have your cell phone
with you. If you miss his call -it's in your 'missed calls'
directory or he left you a voicemail

What a world we live in!

Public Speaking Creates Leaders

Sometimes the creative spirit is not rewarded.
We see to choose the athlete or honor roll student
as the only school heroes. Yes, it is the ideal to
have high grades and sports does promote team
work and goal setting.
I was very pleased to see movies in recent years
show the possibilities of attaining a sense of reward
through debate teams and spelling bees.
I have witnessed great things happen while spending
many years working with high school public speakers.
One of those speakers was my son. Because I traveled
to competitive conventions each summer with high
school delegates who had competed in various academic
contests and interviews I needed a niche for my son to
compete. There were no competitions for drummers or
students who liked to do pen & ink drawings in their
notebooks. We discovered that Public Speaking might
serve him well. And so it did.
My son competed in our local Public Speaking contest
and was able to travel to national competition with me.
He also was able to meet students from across the USA
and several foreign countries. Students attended daily
business workshops, competed in their individual contests
and had free time activites also.
When you do not think your child excels in other areas in
school then public speaking or debate is an area where
they can challenge themselves and grow as individuals.
My son also participated in Toastmasters and completed
the Dale Carnegie Course. These are tools still available
to high school students.
The greatest fears in life are public speaking & death.
How great to have your child overcome the terror of
public speaking because we can not control death!

Bullies-sometimes last a lifetime

You would think that when we are grown we
will cast off childhood ways. Especially,as adults,
we would purge our lives of mean actions or bad
tempers.
If you remember the school bullies as a child then
you know who I am talking about. Today, with the
in your face action of YouTube we see bullies are
still there causing strife and ill will.
As parents we need to be vigilent in reforming these
bullies. Our children as well as ourselves may have
been vitims of this aggressive behavior.
Several years ago I discovered someone who I thought
I really knew confided in me that they were a bully
in school and regreted those actions. Once I knew
that fact it explained the adult rantings of this person.
The same person may have curtailed the physical
abuse to others but kept the bitter tongue and mental
bullying quite alive in their adult life.
Sometimes school bullies use the same tactics as adults
to show their superiority to you & I. Is that really necessary?
I don't want to be superior to others -I truly enjoy learning
about individuals and what their goals and ideals are.
I enjoy the gentler, giving spirit I see in my close friends
and relatives. I hope the 'bully' personalities find the help
they need to accept the rest of us.

Badge-Part II

So I did a little lyrics search after writing my
first blog about the song, 'Badge' by Cream.
It was penned by Eric Clapton and George
Harrison. Now, was that before friend Eric
stole George Harrison's first wife from him?
They were in their late 20's at that time.

Music Endorsements

Recently I was poking around the myspace accounts
of bands who were 'friends' on my son's band's myspace.
Because his band has been connected with 3 labels and
had 3 cd's and 1 ep released throughout the world I
am always interested in other bands and their longevity.

One positive aspect of a label affliation is the clout the
publicity & marketing teams can afford a band. These
folks will pitch their artists accomplishments to major
music vendors seeking to add their artists individually
and occasionally collectively on their rosters. These
endorsements are not easily acquired. An artist must
have at least cd distribution in the United States. If a
music vendor (selling guitars, amps, drum sticks, drum
kits,cymbals,strings,drumheads,etc.) does not particularly
care for your cd the label must wait till the next cd release
to pitch the artist again. This can be a process that takes
many years to accomplish. My son's band has painstakenly
gone through this process to acquire quite a lengthly list
of endorsements plus an endorsement from Jagermeister
for not only their original band but also for their hometown
'cover' band which locates club dates at home to fill their
calendar.

The point of this rant is to explain that sometimes you can
be deceived by the appearance of a band's website. Back
to checking myspace. A local band is quite savvy in their
set up of their myspace and has recently revamped their
look. I noticed that they now listed a bunch of music vendors.
I was surprised to see this-knowing they have not released
a national distributed cd. Then, again, I do see many 'independent'
artists on various rosters. In most cases 'indedendent' artists
are usually studio or session artists who play for various singers.
When checking the vendor logos I was not directed to their
website or artist list. So, I delved deeper and did not find
their artists on the vendor sites.

When you suddenly become impressed with the endorsements
of a band-take the time to check each company's website artist
roster to verify this. There is a long, hard fight for this recognition.
It's nice to let the public know which equipment preferences your
band has-but many of us mistake that for a true 'endorsement'.
Maybe a disclaimer by these bands letting the website user know
that they are not on a particular artist roster would be something
to consider.

WE Are One

On Jan 18,2009 the HBO Broadcast of the Mall Concert
in Washington,D.C. was a spectacular event.

The varied speakers and performers started a series
of undertakings this week welcoming a new President
and his administration to our troubled nation.

The theme. 'We Are One' was focusing on uniting his
efforts on behalf of each of us for One Country.

The most memorable performance for me was the
duet of Bettye LaVette and Jon Bon Jovi singing.
'Times Are A Changing'. If that doesn't sum up the
last 50 years in this country. Just 40 years ago I
recall the strife as our country was trying to recover
from the killings of Martin Luther King,Jr & Robert
Kennedy. We also were dealing with the Viet Nam
War and unequality in our society -not only for
non-white races but for women. Everyone forgets
how bad things were for women also. I was just
finishing high school and unaware of not being able
to reach my goals -nor was I setting them very
high for myself -we were just high school girls-
we weren't given a lot of choices.

It may truly be possible to dream & achieve now!

Memories of a Sports Celebrity-my cousin Keith

My only brush with a true sports celebrity was with
my cousin Keith Iovine from New Orleans, La.

My Uncle Mike was a college professor in biophysics
at LSU after a stint here in the northeast at Cornell.
He was also one of 10 Master Glassblowers in the USA.
This craft was passed on to his son Keith who was good
but that was not his passion.

Keith pursued his passion -track from a young age. My
uncle never missed a track meet. He always urged his
son to be his best even if it wasn't the same respected
work he taught his son.

Keith was a young man of normal height. Many track
stars are 6 feet tall or taller. Keith was all of 5'9" or
5'10". When attempting to qualify for the Olympics
or win a high school or college meet he had to be that
much faster than his opponents because of his smaller
stature. As more information surfaces on the internet I
discover more times, meets and accomplishments that
are attributed to Keith.

Being the son of a college professor would have been an
easy choice to just coast in school and attend LSU where
his tuition would be covered. No-not Keith's style.
Keith wanted to apply to the top track schools in the USA.
I know he was disappointed to not get into his first choice
whether it was Kansas or Nebraska I'm not sure. I know
he got in to the University of Arkansas -his 2nd choice.
By attending a premier track college Keith could set his
sights on th Olympics. He had already won many high school
competitions throughout the USA.

My only day and evening that I spent with my cousin was at
the NCAA Track Finals held in 1984 at Syracuse University.
Keith was 21 and a Junior at Arkansas. To him it was his last
try outs for the Olympics. If he didn't make it this time he
thought he would be too old to compete at the age of 25.
This competition would pick 5 members for the US Olympic Team.
I watched several events before Keith was running. I could not
believe the strengh, endurance and speed of these athletes.
Many competing were between 6 and 7 feet tall.

Keith was usually in the 1500 meter relay and a 500 or
1000 meter individual event. Can't remember if his relay
team wasfirst or second place. I can only recall that in his
individual event he explained to me his time had to be under
3:50 but his best time was 3:52. He knew he could do it -
he was so close in all his competitions during the academic year.

I was in awe of my cousin as he ran in his individual event.
You could see he was so much shorter than his competitors.
But he was 'in the zone'. He was so free and majestic in his strides.
He was like a flash oflight passing in front of my eyes. I don't remember
his time but it was off by .001 or .002 of the time he needed. A couple of
his Arkansas team members were ahead of him.

At the end of the NCAA Track & Field Indoor event my cousin was
the 6th highest in points. They chose the top 5 to represent the
U.S. Olympic Team.

His disappointment was only slightly evident as we left the SU campus.
I was not ready for the paparazzi as my calm and confident cousin kept
me close to his side. These reporters had been following Keith's career since
1980. Keith may still hold the high school record for 1600 meter of 4:12
set in 1982. I'll never forget the first name basis Keith had with sports
writers from The Boston Globe, LA Times, Chicago, etc. He gave concise and
detailed answers to their questions. They knew of his loss and all wished him
well-knowing they were going to still keep tabs on this runner's career.

Later that evening I took Keith to a local pub for a beer since competition
& training had now been completed. He explained how it was so lonely
as a Track Athlete. He said it's NOT a team sport but a dog eat dog sport.
It's about the individual not the team. He could never count on his team mates
-only sometimes in the relay event. He was always annoxious about the
next event. He never knew who he could confide in. He did have faith in
his coach and his college program. He said he wasn't sure where he would go
next. He didn't think he would be able to compete in the next Olymics at the
age of 25. We spoke of his missing his dad who died a few years previously.
He & his dad shared such a bond -I could see a part of him wished his dad was
still in the stands as he raced.

It was a great memory to have spent time with a humble athelete who was
always seeking the next goal and learning from his past mistakes. I didn't see any
any self pity- just greatness in the making. He knew he wasn't the best but just
wanted to be the best he could be.

I never saw Keith again. Once he completed college he went to Florida - he
spoke to my dad. Then he ventured to California. After Hurricane Katrina
a woman who was his friend in California contacted my aunt looking for
Keith's Mom and sisters. That was when we learned Keith had died
in October,2002 at 39 years old of an undetected heart condition.

Recently while online I discovered Keith was an 1988 Olympic Qualifier
in the men's 1500 meter. Guess he decided to try again!

We never know what we learn from a chance encounter with a distant relative
or someone in our daily walk. From Keith I learned to stay grounded in the
world of the media, to honor your family relationships and to set new goals
daily.

Dancing is Everyting- Part II

As the years move on I still want to believe
'Dancing is everything'. I think it may be
in the mind of some free spirits.

Last night while grandson and I were watching
an animated video with a danaceable sound track
I realized that there was someone who thought I
would be a great dance partner. My feelings are
mutual.

When this young man asks for a dance there is
no way to refuse and sit it out. I just have to get
up on the floor and dance. He laughs and smiles
throughout the entire song

That's right 'Dancing is Everything!'

Bank Bailout-My solution

This morning I wake up to hear Bank of America
needs another bailout package of 20 billion
dollars. It clicked in my mind that I have a credit
card at BOA that is under $3000. that I
need paid off. Then the bailout plan in my mind
became very simple.

Let's match the Bank of America (HSBC & Citibank
works too I have cards with them also) credit
card holders with their Income Tax Returns.
The government has all our information -this
is not a problem. Now they can weed out the
Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Oprah Winphrey,
and Brad Pitt income levels and pick the first
round of households making under $75,000.
a year. If there is still bailout funds available
after that income group(I doubt it!) then the
government can move up income levels in
$25,000. increments.

Next the government can use these billions to pay
off each credit card for those Americans who see
no end in sight. A letter can then be generated
by either the government or the bank stating
that the current bailout has now paid off the
balance owed by that individual to said bank.
Those costs to generate the letters and mail them
to the bank customer are also paid from the
bailout funds for that bank.

Guess what? Everyone has documentation of
where the money went. No executive salaries
were paid, no trips to resorts, no bonus plan
paypouts.

Now the bank must act responsibly like any
other business. By receiving payments on
credit cards they are not seeing charge offs
in bankruptcy and are receiving revenue in
the form of regular banking transactions.

The American consumer who is losing jobs,
homes and everything else that was part of
their American Dream may see some tangible
relief in this scenario.

Iloveubye

I've noticed there is this new word-
Iloveubye- that men & women alike have
started using since the widespread use
of cell phones. I first heard my son say
this to his wife. Then I saw a new employee
at work say it to his wife when he was taking
a break during training. Then I heard a woman
in the grocery store say it to probably her
husband. I'm not sure if the other person says
something first or if that is said first. If
you are under 40 I guess you do this all the
time also.

The Kiss

When he gazes into my eyes with his baby blues
I am lost. How can you love someone this much?
There are times when I just need his kiss. Should
I be afraid to ask? I sneak by and give him a gentle
brush on the lips. Sometimes he just smiles to himself
and walks away. Then there is that moment he takes
my face in both of his hands, looks deep in my eyes,
gently pulls my face to his and kisses me so sweetly.
He softly says, "Nana, I love you sooo much." and
walks away to play with his toys.

Badge by Cream

I have always loved this song from the late '60's.
I now listen to Eric Clapton sing it and wonder ,
"What the hell is he singing about?"
Where did the band get these lyrics?
Was this composed with lots of drugs or not
enough? I just don't know why I still like
this song-but I do.

You're Fired -One family's solution

http://www.bofunk.com/video/7913/you_are_fired.html

Fashion Tips-Below Zero Weather

Winter in the Northeast (US) brings those
days of temperatures dipping below freezing.
Then the 'wind chill' makes it feel colder yet.

Ladies, now is the time to use clothes from
all seasons. That's right -you need to layer!
So don't pack away those great summer clothes.
You'll need those tank tops to start the layering
process. Then a nice cotton shirt (remember the
last time you wore it at the beach?) then you can
start adding the winter sweather or two.

I think you will find that keeping one closet will
help in these bitter temps.

Read the CD Insert

When I buy new music I quickly tear
into the packaging to get to the cd and
drop it into my cd player.
While taking that 1st listen to each band
or artist I am reading the liner notes.

Please read the cd liner notes.
The 'Thank You's' from the band or
individual artist mean a lot to them
and they want you to know that there
were so many contributions to make
that cd available for you and I.

The cd liner notes give you a little insight
to the many occupations in the music industry.
Sometimes you find that members of a band
or a single artist takes on additional jobs in
producing or engineering their own cd.

Those of us on the sidelines who are the
support network are listed sometimes.
There are fans, fan clubs and street teams
who get their props also.

Please read the liner notes and learn more
about who, what & why got that music cd
from the studio to you.

Wear the fox hat

Just because the Miller Beer folks beat the censors
on this commercial:

http://www.bofunk.com/video/1615/wear_the_fox_hat.html

And When I Die There Will Be One Child Born

My first husband and I were big fans of '60's
band Blood, Sweat & Tears. Our song was,
'You Make Me So Very Happy" but after
he wasn't happy with marriage & fatherhood
I chose 'And When I Die' as a song to follow
the remainder of my life.

If you find time to listen to the words of this
song and you are a parent it will remind you
to leave the right legacy. If you use playlist.com
you can find just about any song out there.
I will use music titles a lot in my blogs.
You may want to add that site to your favorites.

'And when I die, and when I'm gone there will
be one child born and this world to carry on.'
As a young mother I really thought the world
was on my shoulders-but it wasn't. My problems
just seemed so large because no one gave me that
Marriage & Parenthood How to book!
Oh-there really isn't one! I couldn't bring myself
to read Dr. Spock (the baby book-there was no Star
Trek yet) because he didn't have children nor was
he able to give birth. Today my favorite books
are those by Vicki Iovine, wife of Interscope
Records Chairman, Jimmy Iovine -I always hope
one day my son can try to play the long lost cousin
to Jimmy and get some touring money from the
label.

Alas, And when I die and when I am dead and gone.
There will be one child born and a world to carry on.
I hope there will be some who are able to cope because
my son is a musician and his music speaks from the
times and is meant to entertain.

Also from Blood,Sweat & Tears it is safe to conclude
with the song, 'God Bless the child that's got his own'

The Best Birthday Card

A birthday card I received from a co-worker
last year is the best I have read in years:

A birthday is like a vacuum cleaner.
It's just there,
and then it sucks,
And when it's not sucking,
it's there waiting to suck.

Love is Blind, Deaf & Dumb-or is it?

If you read my earlier blogs you know I have
issues with the 'popular' crowd from high school.
Now, I did have my own crowd of outsiders and
we traveled in some different circles than the
jocks & prom queens.

Because the boyfriends were few and far between
I really was 'blind' to the usual trappings of falling
in love. I can even say I was so blind I didn't even
realize my first boyfriend and my first husband
were physically challenged. Because these men
had regular friends and acted like everyone else
there wasn't attention drawn to the physical
challenges they had overcome.
First it was the 'eyes' -the window to the soul.
Then it was the lengthy conversations. And
somewhere in the middle we were on the dance floor
in one of the favorite clubs in town.
If you are a woman relating to the same dating
patterns you probably stayed committed and
never left -so you were also being left.

Who can ever predict when that authentic soul
mate connection takes place? When do we learn
to value ourselves enough to find a connection
that is worth it? Sometimes conditions are ideal
and you both are available for that relationship.
Most times when you meet those stars are not in
alignment at all.

My soulmate is still out there and knows we have
an unbreakable bond. We knew how to laugh
together but not at the expense of the other.
He was a man who was comfortable in his own
skin and not intimidated by my intelligence
because we learned about facing adult life
challenges together. There was a true level
of respect for each other that still exists today.
We both mentored college bound students.
As parents we exchanged the joys and challenges
we faced raising our sons.

We were never truly available for each other at
the same time or the same place to test the long
term committment.

Years and years down the road my advise is to
always save a space in your heart to remember
how it was to be 'in love' with your soulmate.
It keeps a smile on your face in the turbulent
times. Just to know you were loved and valued
for the unique person you are will make your
daily walk in this life easier.

From the mouths of babes

My daughter-in-law was having a trying morning
with grandson one day after Christmas 2008.
She called to my son to take over but decided
that she would spell out a little expletive rather
than have this precocious toddler start repeating
another bad word. She says, " Can you take care
of your son? He is being a little a-s-s-h-o-l-e."
Grandson turns to his Mom and says, I am NOT
an asshole!"

Mamas Don't let your babies grow up to be musicians

I know you can't believe that someone who has nurtured
a son on this career path would create this blog entry.
I think you Moms should be warned if you have young
ones who are playing guitar hero or rock star games and
know they will make it big.
Make sure you plan on your child living home for many
years. There is very little money out there for an unknown
rock star. Forget those who toil at the craft year after year
and still can't make a decent salary.
To survive the music industry is a test of how much you are
willing to endure. There are no record labels to help you
along. Music can be downloaded free. The local clubs keep
you locked in a local music scene playing cover songs but
occasionally let you slip an original tune into the mix.
If you think your great 'band' can get on a Summer Music
Tour be ready to pay to do so.
Let's look at the other side of the music industry. The
willingness to learn about running a business (It is a business)
and share your music with the world. This holds true for
anyone in the arts community. It is virtually impossible
to be creative and hold down a regular 9 to 5 job.
If you really think it would be fun to watch your child work
at the career they love and watch others enjoy that work too-
it is! I'm the Mom of a professional musician and can not imagine
him doing anything else. By giving of your talents to others you
create a better world. That's what musicians, singers and actors
who are never highly compensated do for us. It is joyful to watch
the process of new music being created. Sometimes we will see
that certain careers will find rewards that don't quite pay the bills.
Where would be without the musicians who entertain us? They
express our culture and our feelings and we sing at their concerts.
I am the Mom of a musician and you may be one someday.
Be supportive and don't demand that your child be someone they
were never meant to be. They can be successful in their own way.
Success is not always measured by dollar signs-be willing to face that.

I should apologize to the pretty girls

It's not your fault that you were born pretty. You just couldn't
be surrounded by anyone who was plain. Maybe that would
have made you look even prettier and the rest of us a lot plainer.
I learned to survive in the world. I read more books than I may
have been able to if I was pretty. I worked more
with people who had less than myself. I learned to be the best 'me'
I could be. I could look beyond the superficial to the inner being
of another human being. I've created loving relationships.
So, I apologize now for not fitting in with you 'pretty girls'.
I hope you are surrounded by beautiful women now who
nurture your soul. I am and these women are in my life
everyday.

Precious Love

If you are a woman over 30 then maybe you can relate to these lyrics from
singer/songwriter James Morrison from the UK. James was voted top male
vocalist in the UK in 2007 and I have followed his music since early 2008.
As a woman I think you may have been this person to at least one man in your life.
I'm sure I was in a couple cases. You can only hope one of those men read this and
recognize themselves. There was one person in my life who was this person to me.
I have always been a better person because of him.
I truly believe that those men we wish to keep in our lives who want to stay married
or even friends have their foundations of love from their Moms.
If you have a son it is your job to teach him to respect and care properly for
women in his life. Yeah-he's gonna have his heart crushed a few times. But he'll
recover and one day you will have a daughter-in-law who is your dearest friend
and the mother of your precious grandchildren.
Being a Mom has been an ongoing journey for me and I didn't get paid for it nor
did I expect to. The riches are in my heart and I am blessed every day I am on this
earth.
Read the lyrics from 'Precious Love' by James Morrison (an old soul in his 20's):

I was so lost, didn't know what to do with myself, I was my own worst enemy, I was lost and oh I needed help, Then you came along, and saw what state I was in, You picked me up, when I was down, Showed me how to live again. I say thank you, for pulling me through, I'm a lucky man, I didn't know what life was But now I understand, This is precious love, its precious love No I can't let it go, This is precious love, and its teaching me, Everything I need to know, This is precious love, oh its precious love No I cant get enough, Oh I'm down on my knees begging you please, To gimmie more of that stuff. Love, love, love, love, love, precious love Oh its love, love, love, love, love, precious love Oh I got so distracted, By people all around, whispering sweet nothings, Filling my head with doubt, So I gave up, it didn't take long for me to see The one thing that I was missing, was standing in front of me. Took you for granted, thought the grass, As greener on the other side. I was wrong, and its taken so long For me to finally realize. This is precious love, its precious love No I can't let it go, This is precious love, and its teaching me, Everything I need to know, Oh this is precious love, oh its precious love No I cant get enough, Oh I'm down on my knees begging you please, To gimmie more of that stuff. I say a prayer and send it to you, That my heart will always be true Life wont be the same without you I say thank you, Mmmm, I'm a lucky man, I didn't know what life was But now I understand, Oh this is love, love, love, love, love precious love This is precious love, and its teaching me, To be a better man, This is precious love, oh its precious love No I cant get enough, Oh I'm down on my knees, it's there that I see You must be from heaven above, Yeah its love, love, love, love, love, precious love

Take Care of your face-it's great revenge!

How ugly was your high school yearbook picture?
Yeah, mine was really bad. If you were a guy you
would not want to date me.

Well, it's never too late to start taking care of your
face. I decided to start a good routine a few years
after graduating high school.

Better yet, once you quit smoking-you decrease those
deep lines on the face.

I look in the mirror now and am pleased with the face
I have earned. When you approach 60 you really have
the face you have earned.

I'm still not one of the 'pretty' high school girls but I bet
I can feel good next to them now because it's what we
have created as our inner person and how we treat others
that reflects our real beauty.

I hope you find your own inner beauty and share it with
those around you.

Life was Simple-then you marry!

Jumping from 'dancing is everything' to the full time work world was not too hard.
Now you work all week until you can hit the clubs. Cool! And now you have a car
and car payments. Still living home with Mom & Dad feels only temporary.
I see too many parents now who may have their kids still home when they are 40!
We never really thought we would stay home too long after our education ended.
I was not college bound so thought work & marriage was all that was on the horizon.
I was engaged at the end of Senior Year in high school. That ended with him returning
to his former girlfriend. I can only think that would have been a bad turn of events
anyway. Within a few months I was dating a former boyfriend who had dropped off
the face of the earth for a few months. He had called a few times but my brother was
involved with drugs and didn't take messages for me well during that period.
I learned early on to let them go and move on. I wasn't pretty like the 'popular'
girls but I was a good dancer and could carry on a conversation that guys could
easily follow. I had a lot of guys who were friends and I got to hear all the problems
they had with their 'prissy' 'self-centered' girlfriends so I knew what they wanted
to hear.
So the old boyfriend becomes the new guy in my life and then my soon to be husband.
I was married on the 1 year anniversary of my high school graduation.

Classmates.com;Reunion.com,etc

Do you truthfully want to hear form these people again?
If you graduated from high school or college in the mid '60's
through the mid '70's I bet you could care less.
I remember being on the outside of the 'cool kids' from grade
school on! I found my own friends outside the 'inner circle'
group. I learned how to be a loyal and good friend early in
life. That trait has followed me throughout my years.
I think I passed that valuable ideal on to my son. Where I
have failed to maintain many friends throughout my lifetime
I see the opposite in my son. He still has grade school friends.

Everyday I get another email from Classmates.com that I have
another friend. No-I don't. These people were so hard to get
along with in high school and proved to be just as superficial
at our 10th reunion that I haven't been to a class reunion since.
I think the organizer of the 25th reunion whouldn't even identify
themselves and had inquiries sent to a post office box really set
the tone for me. I don't think I will attend the 40th. I doubt
anyone is planning a 40th.

Dancing was everythig!

If you are from the baby boomer generation then you will agree with my quote from John Mellencamp's song Cherry Bomb. Yeah in the '60's dancing meant everything. You waited
all week for your boring classes to be over so you could hit the clubs-check out your favorite
band and dance, dance, dance. Much different then the clubs now. Drinking age in New York
State was 18 but the clubs always did all ages and stamped the drinking age folks different than
the underage. There was always someone who would ask you to dance and it was fun.
And if anyone into Heavy Metal and has followed Ronnie James Dio -here's a little
secret: Ronnie had a cover band in the '60's and they packed 'em in at the dance clubs.
Bet Ronnie made more than the bands make today back then. It was also when the
Viet Nam War (the goverment never recognized it as a war and called it a conflict. Conflict-
it was a war and we lost lots of young men for no reason. Does that sound familiar?) was
gearing up and we really wanted to make it go away. Do I even want to mention Civil Rights?
I think I started enough rabble rousing by having a Black dance partner for certain dance
clubs. We only danced and practiced all week long after school if we had a dance to go to
together. Other times I just went to the clubs with a bunch of girlfriends. Sometimes a
boyfriend would enter my life for a few months and then I would go to clubs with him.
Sound familiar -sound like a simpler life? Yeah, that's the past.