While my grandson spent the night last night I
realized that sometimes children are not the only
ones who need to be held sometimes at night.
He let me know that if I could just hold him till
he fell asleep then he wouldn't be afraid of the
monsters. Even as adults if we just hold that
special person at night we keep the monsters
away from them. Oh -it's so true!
I am not one to celebrate 'traditional' calendar
holidays like 'Mother's Day' at the Sunday
Brunch with mothers of various degrees of
grey,brown,black & blonde hair coloring shades.
I also don't believe a date on the calendar is the
only time your child or children should remember
their Mom.
Last night into the early Mother's Day hours I was
at a local rock club watching my son's first band
headline a 20th reunion show of thrash metal.
Yeah these various former and some current
rock musicians just screamed it loud and boldly,
'Come get your Mother's Day!' And guess what?
I did and I loved it!
I reminded the guys in my son's former band that
they are now the age I was when I first started
showing up to their shows at that very club over
20 years ago. That was something to mull over!
The rest of the evening was getting to see old fans
of my son's first band plus a few old high school
buddies of the band (yeah they went to grade school
and high school together). I also got to see and spend
time with musicians in my son and daughter-in-law's
current music circle. Club scenes always lend the
time to meet new music fans also.
Until the headliners took stage I almost forgot what
those 'garage band' days were to 3 high school friends.
Then hearing my son on his double base pedals working
his entire drum kit with a disciplined frenzy much different
after years of study and cross country touring than that
young drummer over 20 years ago I realized he became
who he wanted to be. My son wanted to be a professional
drummer -and so he is. As a Mom I get to watch him perfect
his craft -time and time again. Every club show, every concert,
every cd release is Mother's Day for me.
No matter what your taste in music it may be hard to grasp
that musicians are people with families just like you & I even
when their lyrics or musicality is not soothing to the ear.
I spent time talking to lots of Moms last night out with hubbys
or just their girlfriends. I spoke to sons whose Moms are just
the best in their eyes but maybe not into the rock club scene.
So if you ever run across a band who plays, 'The Ballad of Jimi
Hendrix' or 'The Ballad of Jim Morrison' or 'The Ballad of Elvis'
and you have any angst or troubles bothering you just remember
your audience participation line to yell back to the band, 'He's Dead!'
Then smile to yourself and remember you are still living and have
a Happy Mother's Day or Father's Day or Valentine's Day each
day you continue to live.
Thanks to my son for one of the best Mother's Days ever!
If you have a hero it may not be anyone else's hero
Your hero may be a parent, another relative, a teacher,
a mentor, a friend, a co-worker, an activist, etc.
No matter who you consider a hero you will agree why
heroes are the same to everyone
A hero inspires us to be better than we are
A hero makes us believe in the impossible
A hero teaches us to be courageous when we think we can't
A hero keeps us believing that we can be a hero to someone
If we only believe we can do a few things to claim hero
status -it may only be to a small person who looks at
us in love
I'm sure I have heroes who don't claim such status but their
life has proven to be hero status in my eyes
Some heroes to me are older and some are younger
Some of my heroes know who they are and discount the title
Some of my heroes may never know I claim them as such
Those heroes are the ones who others also claim as their hero
Remember when just holding hands was enough
Remember when being held closely was enough
Remember when laughing at each other was enough
Remember when an evening out nowhere special was enough
Remember when not have money but having each other was enough
Remember when late night phone conversations was enough
Remember when an unexpected letter or card was enough
Remember when just being special to someone else was enough
Today it's still enough in some people's eyes
More the rock music fan than the
country fan I am endeared to Trace
Adkins and this song in particular.
'You're Gonna Miss This' and the
chorus: You're gonna miss this,
you're gonna want this back
you're gonna wish these days
hadn't gone by so fast
are so intertwined with many points
of our daily lives.
If we look back to when our children
were babies or each year as they grew
If we look at our community at large
and remind ourselves of the attempt
we made as volunteers to make it better
If we spent time with family & friends
who are no longer here or near to us
If we attempt to bring laughter to those
who are struggling
These and countless others are times
we miss as we travel through our
life's journey.
After just spending nearly a month in
daily conversation with a distant friend
we both commented, 'I'm gonna miss this.'
God says to me- You are strong now
You may have to travel alone
I say to God -I need to follow the lessons
I learn from my friend
God says to me - I may need him to do
other work now
I say to God - I think he still has work to do
God says to me -Maybe he should stay but
the pain may be great and the journey
may be tough
I say to God -Let me be the one he needs
like all the times I needed him in my struggles
So God allows us to travel some more, my friend
When others mistake your trials as a time to quit
I see your fierce drive to forge ahead
When I speak to God -He knows I see your spirit
& your soul and the ideals you wish to give to
family and friends
When I speak to God I realize I have never seen
your mere physical presence but I see the eyes
and spirit of a true friend who inspires me to be
my best
When I speak to God I learn what the test of time
does to our friendship -it endures and it keeps us
both on a path to leave a legacy for our children
When I speak to God I ask Him to give you joy and
happiness
When I speak to God I remind Him you are my hero
When I speak to God I ask Him to allow me the grace
to be your hero when you need one.
Another year rolls by and my son
has aged another year.
I think we look at the years gone
by as lessons learned and friends
remembered.
We tend to cherish and renew old
freindships and relationships as the
years roll on.
Other relationships have shifted and
been lost through death and distance.
I am glad for each year that passes to
see the challenges my son faces and
solves as a husband, father,musician
and son. He has more patience than
I ever had but I remember being young
and taking it in stride when he was
growing up. My granson -that's a new
and daring episode in our lives. He has
his own computer at almost 4 years old.
At 4 years old neither my son or myself
knew a computer could be in your home.
Times change so rapidly now we can only
hope that each new birthday doesn't stop
us from being up close and personal with
those we love.
Today I wish the best for my son and all he
plans and sets goals to achieve. I know he
is working toward helping others achieve
also. Caring for the dreams of others and
watching their efforts is something I hope
I taught him to always seek.
Caught the Oscar nominated flick
at the local neighborhood 'cheap
cinema' today.
Now I have a hard thought process
to choose between Clooney & Bridges.
Both supurb performances. Different
types of movies -but both comedic.
Clooney's movie just really touches the
strangeness in our economy and doesn't
leave us with any thought on things changing.
There is a unique touch that Jason Reitman
uses in this film to let the audience view the
feelings of actual people who have been laid
off. Only several of the 'fired' workers are
actors. The emotions are raw and real. This
movie should be the wake up call to our do
nothing Congress to get America back to work.
Maybe we should fire half of the politicians and
leave them without retirement or healthcare and
see how fast the tables turn.
My new favorite song is 'According to You'
by Orianthi. At such a young age (25) to be
able to write a song that really tells boys &
men that women and young girls will make
some choice that some guys won't like.
I don't know who gave some men the notion
that women are not their intellectual equals.
I don't know who gave some men the right to
belittle women and wonder why they leave.
According to me the choice between men who
respect and care for you is an easy choice.
Maybe those who listen to this song will agree.
As a little side note: Orianthi will be direct support
for John Mayer this spring in Australia. Mr. Relationship
Bad Boy and the wild guitarist girl with the angst in
her heart for the bad boys. This should be a good tour!
There are plenty of days I just can't
keep up with the texting lingo (I do
not text!) because I work in an area
that searches for correct english &
spelling. I receive very little of each.
Sometimes I feel like I am translating
a foreign language to find the correct
spelling or content in an email.
I recently stumbled onto the term MFEO.
As we approach Valentine's Day it is only
fitting to reflect on MFEO. Whether past
or present there is that term MFEO that
lingers in our mind.
Some people are lucky enough to still
share feelings or even a daily life with
that person. In youth what we glamourized
in that MFEO connotation has soured and
left us with our reality.
Others, like myself found out too late that
the person who fit the bill MFEO came along
after we 'settled for' Mr Right Now. We thought
we could change him or her. We would stick
it out through the long haul. It would eventually
work out.
I still know who that MFEO is in my life. We have
distance between us but occasionally are in contact.
The time we share is as new as the first time we met.
We are only 'fun' to each other. Our humor and banter
only thrill us. We have lives filled with obligations and
family. Sometimes MFEO doesn't mean you get to
'be together'.
Finally the Oscar nominated movie,
'Crazy Heart' has come to a theater
near me.
I saw this masterpiece slice of Americana
yesterday. Jeff Bridges is marvelous and
seems to morph the character of Bad Blake
so well it doesn't appear to be acting.
I see a lot of the musician struggles in this
character that are previlant in all genres
of music. The 'aging' musician pushed aside
by the younger up and coming next best
thing.
I also could relate to how alcohol can blur
anyone's sense of reality. I wonder many
years later how I left my son in his father's
care when I should have done otherwise.
I think my son explained that it was ok
because there were always other people
around so that his father didn't put him in
harm's way. I truly believe in miracles and
angels -I think it's how my son survived his
father's addictions and mental illness.
It's been a week since I was in a car
accident. Typical story -cold winter
morning -coming home from church.
At the intersection less than 150 feet
from my house I was hit broadside
on the passenger side of my car by a
teenager running a stop sign.
My car is a classic car which I was trying
to restore to excellent condition from
very good condition. It's 20 years old
has less than 60,000 original miles.
This is the 1st winter it has seen in 17 yrs.
I have only owned this car for 10 months.
I have 2 more years of payments. I saw
the insurance adjuster 2 days ago. He was
sadder than me at such a loss. He had to
total the car but told me if a newer car was
hit with such force it also would be a total
loss and the driver would be seriously injured.
I walked away with some soreness and bruising.
After repeatedly seeing the crash in my head
every time I drive or when I settle down to
sleep I realized that the driver causing the
crash showed no remorse. He never asked if
I was hurt. He didn't even say he was sorry.
He is living home, driving his Mom's car and
going to college. He has no idea how this impacts
someone who is 40 years older, living with a
disabled spouse (who has not worked in over 9 years)
and planning to retire.
I am afraid of where the young generation is headed
if they are not compassionate towards others. That
hurts more than any material or financial loss I have
incurred.
I do realize that the entire world is on
FACEBOOK. I have an account also.
I only have a Facebook account to
get invites or news from my son and
daughter-in-law who both play gigs
with their bands. If you were to ask me
to be a 'friend' it could take me a month
to get back to you.
Well I am convinced that the new 'fun'
Facebook games are Farmville, Cafe World
and my least favorite -Sorority Life.
The Sorority game gives you points for
beating up a rival sorority member. Then
you get points to buy your sports cars
and go shopping for other frivolous items.
When is it OK for women to be violent?
When is ok for men to be violent?
Why is this game something we expose
ourselves and our children or grandchildren
to? I am seeing more young people with
aggressive behaviour. Is it just more acceptable?
Well -it never was in my world and never will be.
We need to find better use of our time than online
violence against anyone!
