'All My Exes Are From Texas'

That is not the truth at all but I was
digging up all that geneology fact &
fiction for my son from my ex-husband's
family today. I guess I am the keeper
of most of the pieces of the past.

My ex-mother-in-law died this morning
and my son has lost touch with most of
his Grandmother's family so they tracked
me down to relay the news.

I found an interesting quote today that
may be true sometimes when most of
us write. "If you can't annoy somebody
there's little point in writing." -British Comic
Novelist Kingsley Amis. Yeah when you
write about the ex family you are bound
to piss somebody off.

The title of this blog entry came to me
because my son's Dad's family seems to
be all over the USA and may possibly have
some relatives in Texas -who knows?

I am really out of the loop here since the
last time I saw these people was at my
ex-husband's funeral 13 years ago. I
think my son had them all on high alert.
They mess with his Mom -they mess with
him. Oh yeah we didn't have much of a
heartwarming relationship.

Now the immediate family saga somewhat
ends for me. For my son maybe new doors
will open. He should get to know his adult
cousins. They were children when I went
through my drama with this family. They
should all start new beginnings where they
can create good relationships as friends.

I grew up with an extended Italian family
on my Dad's side where we were 1st, 2nd
& 3rd cousins deep. We knew each other's
birthdays and celebrated holidays & Holy
Days together (You would not want us in
church by you on Christmas or Easter!)
On Mom's side it was the German, English
& Dutch -those regular meat & potatoes
kind of dinners and we all followed that
side to the sun & sand of Ft Lauderdale &
Miami living in the late '50's. My Mom & Dad
followed in '72 when I was a new Mom.
Thus I got to be part of the ex-family drama
for lots of years. As young parents you want
your child to be part of their grandparents
lives. Then sometimes you get to a point
where the relationship is strained & you
back off.

I think there is a sorrow you share with those
who grieve. I don't think my son grieves as
much for himself as he does for his relatives
and cousins who were closer to his Grandmother
than he was. He is very compassionate and I
know he will attend the services.

If I learned anything from my ex-mother-in-law
I guess I learned to survive in spite of the men
in my life. She was married 3 times and divorced
all of them. I met them all and I liked them all.
I'm still not sure why these men loved her so
much and she fell out of love with each of them.

I met her 40 years ago and she told me she was
dying because she had diabetes. She sure as hell
fought the good fight with the disease.