Did you ever love a Boy Scout?

Such an absurd question, 'Did you
ever love a Boy Scout' ?

Maybe after many, many, many years
I learned that I fell for a Boy Scout and
didn't know it at the time.

The tendencies for a Boy Scout to be
honest, loyal, trustworthy, etc., etc. don't
really enter your mind. You may just wonder
why he is so genuine with you.

You may not realize that he has conditioned
his actions to reveal his true character. Oh, my
dear woman you should be so flattered. Sad
to say his feelings for you may be true but
he treats many others in his life the same way.

You will be proud to walk by his side and share
meaningful conversation. You may never know
where he got his strong convictions or willingness
to help others but you'll never forget you fell in
love with a Boy Scout.

You're Gonna Miss This

More the rock music fan than the
country fan I am endeared to Trace
Adkins and this song in particular.

'You're Gonna Miss This' and the
 chorus: You're gonna miss this,
               you're gonna want this back
               you're gonna wish these days
               hadn't gone by so fast
 are so intertwined with many points
 of our daily lives.

  If we look back to when our children
   were babies or each year as they grew
  If we look at our community at large
   and remind ourselves of the attempt
   we made as volunteers to make it better
  If we spent time with family & friends
   who are no longer here or near to us
  If we attempt to bring laughter to those
   who are struggling
  These and countless others are times
     we miss as we travel through our
     life's journey.

  After just spending nearly a month in
     daily conversation with a distant friend
     we both commented, 'I'm gonna miss this.'

Another Year to Celebrate

Another year rolls by and my son
has aged another year.

I think we look at the years gone
by as lessons learned and friends
remembered.

We tend to cherish and renew old
freindships and relationships as the
years roll on.
Other relationships have shifted and
been lost through death and distance.
I am glad for each year that passes to
see the challenges my son faces and
solves as a husband, father,musician
and son. He has more patience than
I ever had but I remember being young
and taking it in stride when he was
growing up. My granson -that's a new
and daring episode in our lives. He has
his own computer at almost 4 years old.
At 4 years old neither my son or myself
knew a computer could be in your home.

Times change so rapidly now we can only
hope that each new birthday doesn't stop
us from being up close and personal with
those we love.

Today I wish the best for my son and all he
plans and sets goals to achieve. I know he
is working toward helping others achieve
also. Caring for the dreams of others and
watching their efforts is something I hope
I taught him to always seek.

According to Me

My new favorite song is 'According to You'
by Orianthi. At such a young age (25) to be
able to write a song that really tells boys &
men that women and young girls will make
some choice that some guys won't like.

I don't know who gave some men the notion
that women are not their intellectual equals.
I don't know who gave some men the right to
belittle women and wonder why they leave.

According to me the choice between men who
respect and care for you is an easy choice.
Maybe those who listen to this song will agree.

As a little side note: Orianthi will be direct support
for John Mayer this spring in Australia. Mr. Relationship
Bad Boy and the wild guitarist girl with the angst in
her heart for the bad boys. This should be a good tour!

MFEO LOL!!!

There are plenty of days I just can't
keep up with the texting lingo (I do
not text!) because I work in an area
that searches for correct english &
spelling. I receive very little of each.
Sometimes I feel like I am translating
a foreign language to find the correct
spelling or content in an email.

I recently stumbled onto the term MFEO.
As we approach Valentine's Day it is only
fitting to reflect on MFEO. Whether past
or present there is that term MFEO that
lingers in our mind.

Some people are lucky enough to still
share feelings or even a daily life with
that person. In youth what we glamourized
in that MFEO connotation has soured and
left us with our reality.

Others, like myself found out too late that
the person who fit the bill MFEO came along
after we 'settled for' Mr Right Now. We thought
we could change him or her. We would stick
it out through the long haul. It would eventually
work out.

I still know who that MFEO is in my life. We have
distance between us but occasionally are in contact.
The time we share is as new as the first time we met.
We are only 'fun' to each other. Our humor and banter
only thrill us. We have lives filled with obligations and
family. Sometimes MFEO doesn't mean you get to
'be together'.

It's My Job

I recently heard about a conversation a
man had with some friends. He was asked
how he & his wife handled their finances.
He explained they worked and had separate
bank accounts. He explained he handled the
household bills-his & hers. When asked why
he did this he replied, 'Because it's my job to
take care of my wife.'
Sometimes people just know what their job is
and they accept it and work at it.

Wondering Where the Romance Went

There are days after days when I ask 'Where did the
romance go?' I feel it in my heart. I seek it in my mind.
I recall the memories of romantic times. Is it too much
to ask of men today? Women like myself seem to think
we must just demand too much.

I know it's possible because I lived with the knowledge
that there was a man who knew my heart. He didn't care
what other people thought. If he wanted to show love or
tenderness he just did it.

Thinking a written piece of paper with witness signatures
will turn vows into actual promises to remain loving and
gentle does not always work. It's just too much effort!

Then again there are promises made when saying good bye
that come from the heart. Only the two exchanging the
words are witness to what their hearts believe. Lifelong
vows to care about the other person are not spoken to
a crowd. There are no extravagant celebrations or festivities.  
All that remains are the times devoted to keeping in touch
and knowing that the bond is always there.

As the famous country song laments, 'Looking for love in
all the wrong places' even plays out in many marriages.
Isn't that where you expect to find romance? Not always.

So I applaud those who try to work at the romance in their
lives. It keeps your days from being drudgery. It shows your
children that happiness is attainable. It keeps the travel
industry working hard for you! You help the rest of us
remember and always believing in romance as we once
knew it.

Shared Memories Erase Missed Moments

Check with other women and you will be
amazed how many never had those special
moments -a prom -a wedding dance-a
honeymoon -a romantic vacation. Life just
moves on with the day to day routines.

In your heart you know how nice those moments
would have been but you have children now and
a busy job-maybe some volunteer work and life
seems to take it's course.

One day during a seemingly normal activity you
notice someone takes a little extra time out of
their day for you. You didn't ask for his help and
there he stands next to you offering to assist you.

I cherish those simple moments when a man came
into my life to offer a subsitute prom, a wedding dance,
a romantic dinner, a vacation of shared times that he
never knew I was denied in earlier years. He just knew
how to follow his heart and how to show kindness.
I learned to share those lessons with my son so he
could be the tender hearted and strong willed man
that he is.

So, ladies if some of life's moments passed you by and
it appears you only discover them in a novel here or
there -you can make a difference. Teach your sons,
your nephews, your children's friends the kindness
and gentleness that girls and women deserve. Maybe
we can make this world a little better.

There isn't a day that passes that I don't feel joy from
those past memories where someone cared about me.
I learned to care more deeply during those times also.
Oh -maybe I helped make a special moment a lingering
memory for someone else!

Wishing You Someone in Your 'Amen' Corner

There are a few people in my 'Amen' corner.
Some have been there longer than others.
In turn I am in their 'Amen' corner.
Maybe you aren't familiar with that term.
It only means that they are there to say,
"Well Done' when you complete a dauting
task or finally achieve something whether
it be big or small.
Then you have those people who can't wait
to tell you that your newest idea or venture
is plain old stupid. If it fails they are the
first to say they were right rather than let
you know it took courage to attempt something
new. When your venture is successful they
don't even acknowledge it.
Cherish those folks in your 'Amen Corner'
and they will keep you positive on a day to
day basis.

Birthday Wishes

There is someone having a special birthday.
I am wishing that dear friend fond 'Birthday Wishes'

Did we long ago think we would ever be this old?

I don't celebrate all the years either but am glad we
reached them and still share our ups & downs with each other.

Remembering a budding friendship where I was so lost and my
heart was so closed to the possibilities of caring for anyone except
my child you made me see who I was -to you and others around me.
Maybe I did the same for you and didn't even realize it.

You made decisions for both of us that endur to this day.
You kept our friendship alive when I almost closed the door.

From that time I no longer have any cards, letters for fear they would
fall into the wrong hands.
I realize now that the brain stores the best of our pictures as memories.
I can review those memories daily if I choose to do so.

Your strength and courage to face each day's challenges head on has
mentored me in my daily endeavors. Today after reading a letter this
summer from my Pastor she made me understand that courageous
people are those who wake up to a new day and accept what they need
to do that day.

I have no regrets about any decisions we made together except maybe
being smart enough to walk away from a 'bad' situation. You never made
that decison for me -to stay or leave was always on me.

When times are tough or seemingly unbearable I have wonderful memories
of shared conversations both past and present to carry me over the rough
spells. Today you always remind me of the grandson who is the light of my
life.

I now find that once broken-now mended hearts can bring peace to others
and help raise wonderful children.

So to use this Beatles song the only chance I get is now!

'Will you still need me -will you still feed me when I'm 64?'

Of course, dear friend I'll still need you when you're 64

Put A Smile On Someone's Face

Are there times when it all seems like it's not
even worth getting out of bed? Yeah, we all
have those days. Then we must turn ourselves
around and do something for someone else.

That's when it's time to put a 'Smile on Someone's face'!
I know you can do it! I do it when I don't even know it.
Just sending an email with a sarcastic tone or a story
about grandbaby can do it.

Then there is that someone who puts 'A Smile on my face!'
And it's when I don't expect it but really need it.
A little blessing I think God knows will keep me
moving and energetic.

We all can be a blessing in someone else's life.
Put a smile on their face!

Someone Remembers

The older we get the more we realize we are the
same person we once were but in an older body.
I marvel at the reminders around me of 1969.
The music, the cars, the reference to Easy Rider
and movies of that summer.

The ideals of peace and family back then are still
with me. Whether our nation ever got close to the
idea of living in peace here & abroad still seems
unattainable. Whenever we get near that end some-
one changes the course.

From the '70's I still relate to the same passionate
sense of working with teen-agers but now when I
give advise I laugh to think I am a grandmother.
Going to the grocery store and being carded to buy
beer is a joke after 40 years of being legal drinking
age.

Throughout it all there is still someone who remembers
my heart and my sense of humor.

Someone half my age
just let me know she got the smart ass comeback
comments from me in the office. I feel honored!
They shouldn't change seating arrangements in the
office if they want others to remain professional at
all times.

When I feel lost or in need of a card or letter to lift
my spirits I know someone who remembers my
heart will pull me through in this age of emails.

I recently learned a valuable life lesson about people
who enter our lives because of the attraction they feel
to our personalities. The problem sometimes in being
honest & open to who you are is that some only talk a good
game -they can't walk the walk. I never realized in all
these years that I became disappointed by those who
claimed to be something they were not because they
were attracted to the life I live. I move fast and I move
with purpose as you may realize if you follow my blog.

Someone in my life remembers who I am and is there
always in spirit to support my efforts. I am eternally
grateful for those few moments we share in emails or
in phone conversations to catch up on all that transpires
in our lives.

I hope someone remembers you and the feelings in your
heart. There is the person I remember also and I know
their heart and hope I make them smile too.

What Were We Thinking?

Am reading the new book 'What Was I Thinking?'
subtitled -58 Bad Boyfriend stories. It just confirms
that we are not alone.
The cautionary tale here is to recognize the signs of
a toxic relationship and to run away as fast as possible.

As I stated in earlier blogs -I never left! Many years later
I can be the voice of reason to others because of my lack
of courage in earlier relationships. Learning your own
selfworth can be a lifelong journey.

Not to leave the men out. Many of them are victims of
toxic relationships and that is never acknowledged.
Men stay in hopes of changing relationships also.
No matter what any of us do those people who do
us harm mentally and physically do not change because
we hope they will.

Remember to cherish the thought that you deserve to
be treated with respect & you deserve love.

Let's Call it Quits

This was a note I received several months ago.
It was in a letter, sent to my work with a little
over $50. in cash. Because our mailroom opened
the letter they gave it to my supervisor because
it may have been from a customer I had contacted
on behalf of our company. There was no return address.

To my complete surprise it was from my best friend
of over 34 years. 'Let's call it quits', 'I'll send your things
you left at my house to your home.' How devastating
do you think that can be?

When you have lived parts of 4 decades confiding in
a friend and sharing all the ups & downs through
marriages,children,jobs,accomplishments,failures,etc.
how does this happen? I say it's gotta be major.
When it's major -you know it! Having an affair
with a friend's husband, buring their house down -
stuff like that. I couldn't remember any of those
things happening.

What I do remember is being her labor coach.
What I do remember is rescuing her from domestic
violence when her 2nd husband tried to kill her.
What I do remember is getting her to admit she
was being totally self destructive with alcohol in
her first marriage.

What I do remember is finding great obscure
music from her record collection: Loudon Wainwright III,
Tom Waits, Warren Zevon, Bonnie Raitt and on & on.
Those were artists in the mid '70's when they weren't
famous. I learned about art and 'flipping houses' before
anyone knows what a 'flip' is. I shared travel adventures
with her. She taught me about antiques and I soaked it
all in. While she was single I was raising my son. What
I thought as allowing my son to realize his own dreams
she thought a a little too unconventional -until she had
a child of her own. I taught her to start to let go a little
each day-so when your child is ready to leave-you can
at least be able to release them to the world knowing
you did your job.

We live 2900 miles apart now but I visited every summer
for the last 7 years. 3 years ago I was there twice because
I thought my son's band would be on tour there -both tours
cancelled part way through their run.

After calling my friend's husband at his work to see if he
could give an answer to how she was feeling -if my visit
seemed to cause a problem -he said he thought we had a
good time. He saw her pack my items I leave from year
to year and asked if she was sending a note. He never
knew she already sent the note.

She finally called and said she had been giving me hints
for several years. I asked 'What hints?' She then said
she was sure she was not communicating well enough.
Friends can always say -'Hey-I'm having a rough year
I may not want visitors from home this year.' That's
totally understandable. I can take it-it won't send me
in some downward spiral. She said I am just 'Too intense!'
Huh? Intense? I am your friend. I am passionate about
life and am always growing and learning. I am happy for
every day God gives me to live.

My concept of friendship is to make those treasured
friendships last a lifetime. I consider friendship a joy
in my life. At least I have passed that trait to my son.
He still has friends from grade school & high school.

My son also said it best about the end of such a long
term friendship. He said, 'Did you say to her Thanks
for breaking my heart?' I didn't, but she did.

The Kiss

When he gazes into my eyes with his baby blues
I am lost. How can you love someone this much?
There are times when I just need his kiss. Should
I be afraid to ask? I sneak by and give him a gentle
brush on the lips. Sometimes he just smiles to himself
and walks away. Then there is that moment he takes
my face in both of his hands, looks deep in my eyes,
gently pulls my face to his and kisses me so sweetly.
He softly says, "Nana, I love you sooo much." and
walks away to play with his toys.

Love is Blind, Deaf & Dumb-or is it?

If you read my earlier blogs you know I have
issues with the 'popular' crowd from high school.
Now, I did have my own crowd of outsiders and
we traveled in some different circles than the
jocks & prom queens.

Because the boyfriends were few and far between
I really was 'blind' to the usual trappings of falling
in love. I can even say I was so blind I didn't even
realize my first boyfriend and my first husband
were physically challenged. Because these men
had regular friends and acted like everyone else
there wasn't attention drawn to the physical
challenges they had overcome.
First it was the 'eyes' -the window to the soul.
Then it was the lengthy conversations. And
somewhere in the middle we were on the dance floor
in one of the favorite clubs in town.
If you are a woman relating to the same dating
patterns you probably stayed committed and
never left -so you were also being left.

Who can ever predict when that authentic soul
mate connection takes place? When do we learn
to value ourselves enough to find a connection
that is worth it? Sometimes conditions are ideal
and you both are available for that relationship.
Most times when you meet those stars are not in
alignment at all.

My soulmate is still out there and knows we have
an unbreakable bond. We knew how to laugh
together but not at the expense of the other.
He was a man who was comfortable in his own
skin and not intimidated by my intelligence
because we learned about facing adult life
challenges together. There was a true level
of respect for each other that still exists today.
We both mentored college bound students.
As parents we exchanged the joys and challenges
we faced raising our sons.

We were never truly available for each other at
the same time or the same place to test the long
term committment.

Years and years down the road my advise is to
always save a space in your heart to remember
how it was to be 'in love' with your soulmate.
It keeps a smile on your face in the turbulent
times. Just to know you were loved and valued
for the unique person you are will make your
daily walk in this life easier.

Precious Love

If you are a woman over 30 then maybe you can relate to these lyrics from
singer/songwriter James Morrison from the UK. James was voted top male
vocalist in the UK in 2007 and I have followed his music since early 2008.
As a woman I think you may have been this person to at least one man in your life.
I'm sure I was in a couple cases. You can only hope one of those men read this and
recognize themselves. There was one person in my life who was this person to me.
I have always been a better person because of him.
I truly believe that those men we wish to keep in our lives who want to stay married
or even friends have their foundations of love from their Moms.
If you have a son it is your job to teach him to respect and care properly for
women in his life. Yeah-he's gonna have his heart crushed a few times. But he'll
recover and one day you will have a daughter-in-law who is your dearest friend
and the mother of your precious grandchildren.
Being a Mom has been an ongoing journey for me and I didn't get paid for it nor
did I expect to. The riches are in my heart and I am blessed every day I am on this
earth.
Read the lyrics from 'Precious Love' by James Morrison (an old soul in his 20's):

I was so lost, didn't know what to do with myself, I was my own worst enemy, I was lost and oh I needed help, Then you came along, and saw what state I was in, You picked me up, when I was down, Showed me how to live again. I say thank you, for pulling me through, I'm a lucky man, I didn't know what life was But now I understand, This is precious love, its precious love No I can't let it go, This is precious love, and its teaching me, Everything I need to know, This is precious love, oh its precious love No I cant get enough, Oh I'm down on my knees begging you please, To gimmie more of that stuff. Love, love, love, love, love, precious love Oh its love, love, love, love, love, precious love Oh I got so distracted, By people all around, whispering sweet nothings, Filling my head with doubt, So I gave up, it didn't take long for me to see The one thing that I was missing, was standing in front of me. Took you for granted, thought the grass, As greener on the other side. I was wrong, and its taken so long For me to finally realize. This is precious love, its precious love No I can't let it go, This is precious love, and its teaching me, Everything I need to know, Oh this is precious love, oh its precious love No I cant get enough, Oh I'm down on my knees begging you please, To gimmie more of that stuff. I say a prayer and send it to you, That my heart will always be true Life wont be the same without you I say thank you, Mmmm, I'm a lucky man, I didn't know what life was But now I understand, Oh this is love, love, love, love, love precious love This is precious love, and its teaching me, To be a better man, This is precious love, oh its precious love No I cant get enough, Oh I'm down on my knees, it's there that I see You must be from heaven above, Yeah its love, love, love, love, love, precious love