Feb 23rd -My son's birthday!

Wow-he's 38 today and it has gone by oh so fast.
I have survived both my birth and his birth when
doctor's thought I would die in each case. Both of
us were born premature -me 6 weeks early-him
close to 4 weeks early. I was sent home from the
hospital to die at home because I would not eat.
My son on the other hand was the loudest baby
in the premie nursery and stayed in the hospital
a week after I went home so he could gain more
weight. While he was in the hospital I was supposed
to be on complete bedrest. Oh..please! I had my Mom
take me to all the baby stores to get the things I
wanted before I went to the hospital to bring the
little guy back home.

Once he was here my life changed to that of a Mom.
It was no longer what I wanted but what he needed.
He needed my presence. Even though I worked full
time I was present with my child as much as possible.

I hope I spent as much time as possible nurturing his
music career. I think we enjoyed the arts, music and
travel as he was growing up. I know I loved every
minute of my time raising him.

Now, many years later I get to enjoy watching him work.
It is a thrill and truly entertaining to be the Mom of a
musician. I would only hope that he touches many lives
as a musician and a music instructor.

90 % of life is just showing up! I am so glad I showed up
for this birthday and am here to celebrate #38 also!

Facebook,Myspace and Wrong Place

Social networking on the internet is taking so many
directions. You are not running with the pack if you
don't have a myspace page, a facebook page, a second
life(soon to change to mylife -I could be wrong) plus
a twitter account. The list is getting to be as long as
my arm.

I conduct a lot of research for varied reasons. I have
an account with most of these sites -a page of my own
I do not have.

Some parents who do not have adult or teenage children
in the public eye would be very shocked to read their
children's myspace or facebook. I know I am shocked
for them at times. I would hope that parents know how
disturbing our world is to the younger generation.
I don't know what happened between 1965 and 2009.
It seems my generation didn't leave a better place for
our children or for our working class (I am one of them)
to retire into.

Meanwhile our children are revealing personal things
in their social networking before we get to hear it.
I am saddened by some of the blogs and blurbs and
profiles I read sometimes. I occassionaly stumble
onto a profile that the young person's parent has
never seen. Some personal information is too revealing
and should not be shared with the world at large.

I have learned that blogging is the same. I try to
share personal thoughts that may touch someone's
heart or trigger some intellectual thoughts. Then
again I just like to share strange humor that others
may also enjoy.

Nothing wrong with being honest but sometimes
think before you add info to your social network
pages. You may be blindsiding a loved one.

What Were We Thinking?

Am reading the new book 'What Was I Thinking?'
subtitled -58 Bad Boyfriend stories. It just confirms
that we are not alone.
The cautionary tale here is to recognize the signs of
a toxic relationship and to run away as fast as possible.

As I stated in earlier blogs -I never left! Many years later
I can be the voice of reason to others because of my lack
of courage in earlier relationships. Learning your own
selfworth can be a lifelong journey.

Not to leave the men out. Many of them are victims of
toxic relationships and that is never acknowledged.
Men stay in hopes of changing relationships also.
No matter what any of us do those people who do
us harm mentally and physically do not change because
we hope they will.

Remember to cherish the thought that you deserve to
be treated with respect & you deserve love.

The Music Business is Hard Work

It appears that many bands looking for fame and fortune
do not understand the music business is a real JOB.

There appears to be many times your work is unpaid.
That is true but necessary to the nature of the job.

Look at the regular shift workers and see how your
music job compares.

• Do you miss scheduled practice?
• Are you only occasionally working a gig?
• Do other activities take priority over your music?
• Do you watch your health ?
• Are you chronically late for practice and gigs?
• Are you available to book gigs or talk to club owners?
• Are you available for Internet or radio interviews?
• Do you communicate with your fans?
• Do you rethink your band's role locally? Nationally?

Compare to a regular job and see if you are working to advance.

Let's Call it Quits-Part II

In an earlier blog I spoke of a long term friend
who decided to 'Call it quits' to our friendship.
This was a complete and total shock.
There is a reason why some friends are with us
over many decades. We hold each other up in
good and bad times. We are there to comfort
each other.
Last week this former friend's first husband
died. She has no one to talk to or may not even
have the information at this time.
Wish I was there for support if she needs it.
Remember to not turn good friends out of
your life. There may be a time when you need
them -but they are no longer available.
I feel sad for her pain because I went thru
all three of her marriages -good times & bad.

You're A Friend Of Mine

This is the title of an old song by Clarence Clemmons
of the E Street Band and Jackson Browne from years
ago. I recently heard it during a company meeting
where it was used in a video made to honor our top
customer service workers from 2008. During the
video I said I was glad to know someone bought this
album besides me.

If you aren't familiar with the song-you can find it
on playlist.com to bring yourself up to speed.
I realize there are several lines that are true for
anyone who cherishes those long term friendships.
I see this in one particular friend. My son doesn't
count because we have been alike for so long that
I can no longer define where the parent/child
relationship ends and the friendship begins.

I hope these lyrics reflect the way you feel about
those favorite friendships -

'The one who always makes you laugh until you die'

'You can depend on me -over & over'

'You can call on me till the day you die'

'I'm gonna stand by your side through thick & thin'

'Years may come & go here's one thing I know-
all my life you're a friend of mine'

The intangible things about great friends are summed up
in this song. It is good for us to be that kind of friend
also.
There is nothing like receiving a double over in laughter
email from a friend. It makes a regular day smoother.
Just a hug for someone who is hurting or grieving means
so much. There seems to be so much detachment in our
world that we sometimes lose sight of close friendships and
just the tiniest gesture of caring goes a long way.

When we struggle with trying economic times let's not
forget to help each other and be a little kinder. Bring a
smile to someone's face. I know you can!

Have a Mentor-Be A Mentor

While listening to the audiobook, 'Where Have All The Leaders Gone?'
by Lee Iacocca I was inspired by his chapters about mentoring.
It is our duty during our lifetimes to mentor others. Likewise it
is up to us to find mentors to guide us in our quest to leave this
world just a bit better because we have helped another.

Find your teacher and personal advocate. It's important to have
someone in your ra ra corner cheering you on and dusting you off
if you fall.

Iacocca reminds his audience that leaders are created -not born.
What are we doing to create leaders? Sometimes I wonder.
Everyone has gifts to share to encourage greatness in our society he
explains. We need to continually look inward to find those gifts we
can give to others.

I have had several mentors throughout my working life. The main
mentor in my life taught me how to work with teen-agers more
effectively. This person has always been urging me to be my best.
I have taught my son to use his talents to give back -he does an
amazing job through music.

Iacocca reminds us there are 3 stages in our lives:
1. Learning
2. Earning
3. Returning

I would like to add that learning is lifelong and we can also try to
start the returning to others while we are in the earning years.
To me all three items are overlapping and never ending.

I salute those who have mentored me and those who still do.