You're A Friend Of Mine

This is the title of an old song by Clarence Clemmons
of the E Street Band and Jackson Browne from years
ago. I recently heard it during a company meeting
where it was used in a video made to honor our top
customer service workers from 2008. During the
video I said I was glad to know someone bought this
album besides me.

If you aren't familiar with the song-you can find it
on playlist.com to bring yourself up to speed.
I realize there are several lines that are true for
anyone who cherishes those long term friendships.
I see this in one particular friend. My son doesn't
count because we have been alike for so long that
I can no longer define where the parent/child
relationship ends and the friendship begins.

I hope these lyrics reflect the way you feel about
those favorite friendships -

'The one who always makes you laugh until you die'

'You can depend on me -over & over'

'You can call on me till the day you die'

'I'm gonna stand by your side through thick & thin'

'Years may come & go here's one thing I know-
all my life you're a friend of mine'

The intangible things about great friends are summed up
in this song. It is good for us to be that kind of friend
also.
There is nothing like receiving a double over in laughter
email from a friend. It makes a regular day smoother.
Just a hug for someone who is hurting or grieving means
so much. There seems to be so much detachment in our
world that we sometimes lose sight of close friendships and
just the tiniest gesture of caring goes a long way.

When we struggle with trying economic times let's not
forget to help each other and be a little kinder. Bring a
smile to someone's face. I know you can!

Have a Mentor-Be A Mentor

While listening to the audiobook, 'Where Have All The Leaders Gone?'
by Lee Iacocca I was inspired by his chapters about mentoring.
It is our duty during our lifetimes to mentor others. Likewise it
is up to us to find mentors to guide us in our quest to leave this
world just a bit better because we have helped another.

Find your teacher and personal advocate. It's important to have
someone in your ra ra corner cheering you on and dusting you off
if you fall.

Iacocca reminds his audience that leaders are created -not born.
What are we doing to create leaders? Sometimes I wonder.
Everyone has gifts to share to encourage greatness in our society he
explains. We need to continually look inward to find those gifts we
can give to others.

I have had several mentors throughout my working life. The main
mentor in my life taught me how to work with teen-agers more
effectively. This person has always been urging me to be my best.
I have taught my son to use his talents to give back -he does an
amazing job through music.

Iacocca reminds us there are 3 stages in our lives:
1. Learning
2. Earning
3. Returning

I would like to add that learning is lifelong and we can also try to
start the returning to others while we are in the earning years.
To me all three items are overlapping and never ending.

I salute those who have mentored me and those who still do.

Wedding Crasher -not quite

Several years ago my son and his band were on
tour across the USA. Somewhere midway through
this tour they were approaching their hotel in
Columbus,Ohio. Across the street from their
hotel there was quite the event going on. My
son now spots Steve Gadd crossing the street.
He let's his band know -look it's Steve Gadd.
Puzzled they look at each other and say, 'Who?'

Anyone in the percussion or drumming world
knows who Steve Gadd is. Guitarists and
vocalists -not so much.

Upon entering their hotel my son spots a young kid
with drum sticks on their elevator. The kid tells
my son the hotel across the street is holding the
Percussive Arts Convention and everyone who
is anyone is there. My son calls his wife and me.
We both give sound advice -take the elevator
back down and go across the street. Smooze your
way in. He has a few endorsements -he should be
able to get into some part of this event.

Next thing you know he is crashing the event.
Before he can start his smooze his Vic Firth Rep
spots him and gets him into the event -as a black
jazz drummer who is known worldwide. He is not
black. At least later on one of the convention workers
or Vic Firth people get to change his tag and make him
a Vic Firth Factory Rep.

Not only did the band get to play their show in Columbus
my son got to hang with his fellow drummers and meet
several people through his Vic Firth Rep. Sometimes
you can get away with crashing by knowing the right
people.

No More Writing? No More Teachers?

A recent local newspaper article emphasized that
cursive handwriting was soon to be eliminated
from elementary education. After learning to
print the alphabet it appears students now only
use the computer to complete all school assignments.
I am amazed to find out that ALL school districts
and underfunded inner city schools rely on computers
for every child.

In my current job I have noticed the total decline in
the ability for most people to spell everyday words.
I attribute that to 'texting'. Now we will dumb down
even further to not teaching cursive handwriting.

Long lost will be the days when your friend would
handwrite you a note from your parents so you
could skip school. Why will you need to even attend
school?

A Friend Grieves

Here is a blog link to someone who battled cancer for
5 years and lost that fight Jan 26th, 2009.
He was the friend of a co-worker who is now grieving.
His story may inspire those of us who remain here.

http://kermitsbattle.blog.com/

Let's Call it Quits

This was a note I received several months ago.
It was in a letter, sent to my work with a little
over $50. in cash. Because our mailroom opened
the letter they gave it to my supervisor because
it may have been from a customer I had contacted
on behalf of our company. There was no return address.

To my complete surprise it was from my best friend
of over 34 years. 'Let's call it quits', 'I'll send your things
you left at my house to your home.' How devastating
do you think that can be?

When you have lived parts of 4 decades confiding in
a friend and sharing all the ups & downs through
marriages,children,jobs,accomplishments,failures,etc.
how does this happen? I say it's gotta be major.
When it's major -you know it! Having an affair
with a friend's husband, buring their house down -
stuff like that. I couldn't remember any of those
things happening.

What I do remember is being her labor coach.
What I do remember is rescuing her from domestic
violence when her 2nd husband tried to kill her.
What I do remember is getting her to admit she
was being totally self destructive with alcohol in
her first marriage.

What I do remember is finding great obscure
music from her record collection: Loudon Wainwright III,
Tom Waits, Warren Zevon, Bonnie Raitt and on & on.
Those were artists in the mid '70's when they weren't
famous. I learned about art and 'flipping houses' before
anyone knows what a 'flip' is. I shared travel adventures
with her. She taught me about antiques and I soaked it
all in. While she was single I was raising my son. What
I thought as allowing my son to realize his own dreams
she thought a a little too unconventional -until she had
a child of her own. I taught her to start to let go a little
each day-so when your child is ready to leave-you can
at least be able to release them to the world knowing
you did your job.

We live 2900 miles apart now but I visited every summer
for the last 7 years. 3 years ago I was there twice because
I thought my son's band would be on tour there -both tours
cancelled part way through their run.

After calling my friend's husband at his work to see if he
could give an answer to how she was feeling -if my visit
seemed to cause a problem -he said he thought we had a
good time. He saw her pack my items I leave from year
to year and asked if she was sending a note. He never
knew she already sent the note.

She finally called and said she had been giving me hints
for several years. I asked 'What hints?' She then said
she was sure she was not communicating well enough.
Friends can always say -'Hey-I'm having a rough year
I may not want visitors from home this year.' That's
totally understandable. I can take it-it won't send me
in some downward spiral. She said I am just 'Too intense!'
Huh? Intense? I am your friend. I am passionate about
life and am always growing and learning. I am happy for
every day God gives me to live.

My concept of friendship is to make those treasured
friendships last a lifetime. I consider friendship a joy
in my life. At least I have passed that trait to my son.
He still has friends from grade school & high school.

My son also said it best about the end of such a long
term friendship. He said, 'Did you say to her Thanks
for breaking my heart?' I didn't, but she did.

Used to be 'I hope he calls' -now what is it?

When only land line phones existed this would be
every girl and single woman's concern about the
newest guy she wanted to hear from. You had to
be creative with your time while waiting for the
phone to ring. Reading books worked for me be-
cause I loved to read anyway. How many days or
weeks did you wait?

Now everyone-even 5 year olds have cell phones.
Years ago guys had so many things to do that it
was rare to get them to chat for over 5 minutes-
no less initiate a phone call. Now -all I see is the
cell phone in everyone's ear. In the last 2 years
I have never seen so many guys in conversation
on the phone. Does it have to be portable to get
them to call you?

Let's not even go to texting -the guys love that too.
Only problem with texting is the loss of spelling in
the correct manner.

So, ladies I guess you don't have to mope if he doesn't
call because you are on the go and have your cell phone
with you. If you miss his call -it's in your 'missed calls'
directory or he left you a voicemail

What a world we live in!